Personal Resume

The hardest thing about dating is that it requires you to update your resume.  You need to become interesting again.  You need hobbies and interests outside of work that you can reference for what is typically the first question on a first date:

What do you do in your spare time?

Snuggling with your cat and watching every program on ABC Family is not an acceptable answer. 

I think that each time you start over in your relationship life, it gives you an opportunity to get to know yourself better.  Since you are in total control of how you spend your time, you can actually start the hobbies you have always dreamed of! 

Last time I was single I took up ballroom dancing.  This time I am taking jewelry making classes (metal jewelry, not beading).  Another time I took up yoga (I’ve kept that one through the years).  The list goes on. 

If your boyfriend/girlfriend was your last hobby, please please please do not let that happen again

To be interesting, you need to do things that are interesting to you. 

One good resource is the community education programs that most cities offer.  You can take classes in the Mandarin language, step aerobics, belly dancing, yoga, Spanish, cooking, etc.  In my area, I am almost always the youngest class participant.  That makes me feel good about myself.   High self-esteem is important in dating.  There is nothing wrong in finding that self esteem in a belly dancing class filled with women who are north of the age of 55. 

Another resource is your friends that you do not date and it is also a good idea if they are friends who you have never watched a movie with either.  I may put together another post about dating your movie buddy, but there is an episode of SATC that covers the issues pretty thoroughly.  My point is, your friends are fun and interesting.  Start something up with them!

The most common and easiest club to start is a book club.  A book club covers a few social bases.  It gets you out of the house, it may help you meet new people, it gives you something to talk about not only on a date but other places as well!  You will be surprised how often you can mention your “current book club book”   And please, start one that actually reads the book.  They are a rare find and more respectable than the wine club version.   And the one thing you need when you are hitting the refresh button on life, is to be respectable.  And a hobby.