Monday, November 19, 2012

Reader Question


I got a question from a reader the other day:

I went on a date where I have no desire to see him again. He text me later that night and said he wanted to get to know me better and I text back that I honestly didn't feel a spark, and he replied "thanks for your honesty but I usually like to give it 2 dates because people are nervous on the first date". How do you let people down gently but honestly?

 
The guy in this situation has a point, people are usually nervous on the first date.  If you cannot get over your nerves in the first twenty minutes, it is likely that you are shooting way out of your league.  You have to earn the follow up, just as you would in an audition, job interview, or sales pitch. 

 
I am just imagining the nerves the man would have on the second date, knowing that you did not feel the spark on the first date!  If you have another two hours to waste and you are feeling generous, go for it. 

 
If you do not have the time or the inclination, here is what I would suggest.  Text him back and say “Thanks for the suggestion.  I hope my honesty saves us both some time.  It was very nice to meet you and good luck on your future dates!” 

 
Please, always respond to people who follow up after a date.  Its good karma. 

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