Interview with a Gentleman

I try to make this blog accessible to both men and women. Since I am on my soapbox sharing my opinions, I thought I would give the men in my life the opportunity to share their own viewpoints on the dating process and what their advice/rules are.

Each week we will go further and further into exploring a date from a man's point of view.

This week’s interview is with a dear friend whom I have known for about eight years. He is tall, has a fondness for berets, blond, does P90X, has a job, wonderful parents, and owns a home. He is a great catch and lives in the Denver area.

1. How do you ask a girl out? (in person, email, phone call, text <-- bad idea btw)

If it's a new girl that I just met, I will always call to set something up for 2-3 days ahead. If it's someone I know, I have no qualms about sending a text to see what's up. Get with the times, a text is no big deal. We can't get into a texting conversation, but "Drinks tonight?" is OK to open the lines of communication.

2. How do you prep for a date? (internet stalking, interview friends, launder your lucky shirt, make reservations etc)

Shower and put on some clothes with a purpose. I might call a seasoned friend for a quick bit of advice to have on the top of my mind (my friend usually tells me, "confidence" and "act like you've been here before"

3. What signals do you look for to see if she likes you? (do you really look for hair playing and arm touching?! What else has Men's Health told you?!)

Physical contact is a no brainer, touching the arm or even better a leg. Women touch close to what they want; a shoulder or arm touch means they want to get close to your heart, a leg touch means they want to get close to your penis. If the date is a dinner or something, anytime they want to continue ie grab a drink, go back to watch some tv, etc, means there is some spark. Laughing together is what it's all about. If you have that, she's probably willing to explore further into what could be.

4. How do you let a girl know you like her on a date? (open doors, compliments, whatever else that might be subtle)

Girls are insecure and they all want what they can't have. So, girls, like play dough, can be easily manipulated. I like to throw out a "negative compliment". For example, "I think it's cute how you're nose scrunches up when you laugh" or my favorite one (if you've seen her before) "Oh, I love that shirt, I think you were wearing it the last time I saw you" Get the point? Then, prolonged physical contact. If you can hold something, (leading her by the hand to the bar, or even playing a game or magic trick or something where you are touching. That prolonged touch lets her know that you're interested, and it lets you know that she's willing to touch you, at least a little bit, and sometimes all you really need is a little bit.

5. Why did you take her on a date and not just call her at bar close on a Friday? (difference between a girl that is date-able and not just f-able)

As I get older, I look for more meaning in a relationship. Sex is great, but sex with love is on a whole new level. It's very tough to find a real connection with someone, but I look to take out people that I feel there might be a connection with, or that I'm just really attracted to, but honestly with the hopes that deeper meaning might come of it. If I'm looking for someone to F after the bars on Friday, I'll text you around 2:00am.

If you have recently been on a date any great takeaways for other ladies to keep in mind on a date?

For both men and women, I encourage boldness. If you want to hold hands, then take my hand. If you want to kiss, then lean on in. Don't be lame and make it about a date; let's have some fun, be real, and hopefully we want to see more of eachother when it's over.

Any funny stories from it?

My last date was to a Vietnamese restaurant two weeks ago. There was a guy sitting alone at a table, by the cash register, wearing all black. He was looking at me from the time I walked in, so I asked him for a table for two. Turns out he didn't work there, he was just a normal Vietnamese dude who was wearing the same black as the waiters. SHE thought it was hilarious.