Quick Like Band-Aid

Here is a helpful post about how to end things with someone.  This is for those situations where it is not a break-up but you can no longer comfortably disappear off the face of the earth. Start with these nine  words: “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Say this immediately after saying hello so there is no confusion that you may be calling to plan a date. 

Then throw her/him a bone.  Say something like, “I really do like you.” Follow this with a “But Statement.”  The but statement gives everyone something to feel good about (the phrase that precedes the But) and still allows you tell the harsh truth;  “but I’m just not feeling it.” My rule on those “But Statements” is that it will  negate everything that immediately preceded it.    As my girlfriend says: Damn the but.

After you clarify that casual movie watching (my blog metaphor for sex)  is for sure not on the table, and in the middle of the other person jabbering about their own feelings on the situation, get yourself off the phone as quickly as possible.  Ending the conversation with 100% honesty is really important and the other person should thank you for managing their expectations so clearly, yet gently.  Something like, “I’ve got to run, I’ll call you later.  Actually, no, I probably won’t.”

Six minutes and six seconds later, you will be back in the game.  Without the recipe for delicious cookies that were delivered warm to  your house last week. 

Good luck with your calls! 

Dating Dictionary

Day Dating.  Verb.

The practice of starting and ending a whole relationship in a single span of time not to exceed 24 hours. 

The majority of the time spent getting to know each other takes place at a bar and then moves into the back of a taxi cab, against the front door, and under the covers. 

Use it in a sentence: 

I was so good at day dating when I was 25. 

             I day dated this weekend, I think she had red hair, but I can’t remember! 

I day dated a ton after my last breakup, but now I am pretty tired of it.

Day dating is like living in the movie Groundhogs Day.  You will forget that it even happened and continue to repeat the same mistakes until you tire of the game and become the person who deserves the man/woman of your dreams.   

Stress Free Dating

Men say that they dump a girl when things get stressful.  Here are some common stressors.

1.       Planning a vacation

2.       Graduation

3.       Starting school again

4.       Having more than one girlfriend

5.       Buying a house

6.       Getting a new job

7.       Deciding  who’s family to spend the holiday with

8.       Trying to think of an appropriate gift for the upcoming occasion (Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, A Promotion, Valentine’s Day)
 

Most of these situations above are unavoidable.  However, you can make them less stressful.

      1.       Have more sex. 

Seriously though.  When you date with a purpose, it can be stressful.  Real life is stressful and your boyfriend/girlfriend is a part of that.  Ideally your partner can mitigate some of the stressors but sometimes they will be on that list.  When that happens, the same solution applies.

If the stress is immediate after declaring yourselves exclusive movie watching partners, that is not a good sign. 

My advice:  think of your life with and without them.  Whatever scenario gives you more peace/perceived happiness is the one you should go with.