First Contact

I alluded to the delicacies of the first contact in my last post.  i.e. don’t ask someone out in your first message. 

Here are some other things not to do.  Featuring fun, real life examples.

Do not send before proofreading.

Hi. How's I new here and I liked your profile.

Example 2
I work in corporate IT as a (fancy job title) and ibhave had people that work for me on this site and so a little discretion abt my fitness life... nothing wrong with them seeing but puts an awkward twist.. iam (namewitheld).

Do not proposition someone in the first message:

I've been looking at your profile and I was wondering if you might like to get to know each other and see where that will take us? I'm ready and ultimately looking for my best friend/partner/lover. I know that doesn't happen suddenly though, most of the time anyway but I'm hoping to find someone that wants to maybe see right away if something more serious will work and possibly maybe even spending a weekend together sometime whenever your schedule allows... If you'd like to be friends first though and just see where things go from there that's cool to. send me a message back.

*wants to maybe see right away if something more serious will work?!  Call it what it is buddy.  Not gonna happen. 

Do not proposition someone in the second message:

 First message:

Hi, my name is (name withheld). I'd like to get to know you. Would you be interested in joining me for coffee sometime?

 

No response from me.

Second  message:

If you're not interested in getting to know me, would you be interested in hooking up?
*its my personal quest to find out the thought process behiend these bold statements.  This guy and I have a coffee date next week.

 

Do not ask someone how long they have been on the site.  You will get a lie, or you will wonder what is wrong with them, in case that is not already clear from their profile.

Do not say, “Hey, I think you’re an attractive woman.   Want to chat sometime?”  I will have zero motivation for getting to know more about you.   

Do not tell secrets that you’ve left off of your profile.  Save that for the second date, not the second message. 

My opinion as to what makes a good first or second message? 

Make it about the other person. 

Respond to something specific they put in their profile so they know you read it and are interested in them specifically.  With so many generic messages coming in, chances are higher the person will respond if you give them something to respond to. 

What suggestions do you have?