Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Quick Like Band-Aid

Here is a helpful post about how to end things with someone.  This is for those situations where it is not a break-up but you can no longer comfortably disappear off the face of the earth. Start with these nine  words: “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Say this immediately after saying hello so there is no confusion that you may be calling to plan a date. 

Then throw her/him a bone.  Say something like, “I really do like you.” Follow this with a “But Statement.”  The but statement gives everyone something to feel good about (the phrase that precedes the But) and still allows you tell the harsh truth;  “but I’m just not feeling it.” My rule on those “But Statements” is that it will  negate everything that immediately preceded it.    As my girlfriend says: Damn the but.

After you clarify that casual movie watching (my blog metaphor for sex)  is for sure not on the table, and in the middle of the other person jabbering about their own feelings on the situation, get yourself off the phone as quickly as possible.  Ending the conversation with 100% honesty is really important and the other person should thank you for managing their expectations so clearly, yet gently.  Something like, “I’ve got to run, I’ll call you later.  Actually, no, I probably won’t.”

Six minutes and six seconds later, you will be back in the game.  Without the recipe for delicious cookies that were delivered warm to  your house last week. 

Good luck with your calls! 

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