Friends Know Best

When I got dumped  my last relationship ended, none of my girlfriends were sad about it.  They were concerned with my own feelings on it, but unanimously they all said that they did not think I was happy enough in it.

Friends always know best.  If your friends do not like your boyfriend/girlfriend, you should not like your boyfriend/girlfriend.  They may kindly let you rationalize and watch the next six months with resignation, but there will be an “I told you so” coming.  Friends always know when a breakup is needed.

If you do not like your partner’s friends, you should not be dating your partner. 

When your parents said that your friends are a reflection of you, they were telling the truth.  

Friends tell all and you should always listen. 

You + Me = We

When things are new with a relationship, you can look for signs that this is going to last.  Any phrase with a “we” in it puts rainbows in your eyes. 

“We can have a Channing Tatum movie marathon next time. Tonight let’s watch The Campaign.” 

“I heard about a new restaurant, we should check it out sometime.

“I told my mom I was busy tonight because we had plans already to hang out.”

When there are a lot of rainbows floating around it can be hard to see anything else.  Do you know what you should be looking for?  The actual activities/events/things that have been referenced in the rainbow phrases.  Do you have a Channing Tatum movie night?  Do you check out that new restaurant?  Or do you continue to see each other after 8pm with no real agenda besides “watching a movie.”   

Anyone can make a promise or pretend to plan ahead.  They may even mean it at the time.  A person with real interest will follow through.

If you hear a “we” phrase and it makes you puke a little in your mouth you should start practicing your breakup speech.   

Words to Live By

I saw this gem of a quote on a blog the other day:

Do not chase people.  Be you and do your own thing and work hard.  The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay.  Wu Tang

Let’s break it down.

1.       Do not chase people.  In other words, no means no.  Not calling you means no.  Saying they are not ready for a relationship right now means no.  Not meeting up with you at the bar until 1am means no.  Not ever meeting his friends means no.  Review the words and actions of the person you are interested in and react accordingly. 

2.       Be you and do your own thing and work hard.  Cliché time— be yourself!  You cannot make someone like you.  This is tricky because new people can introduce you to new things and you may like these new things.  That is ok.  What is not ok is foregoing the things that made you you in the first place.  Do not start bashing The Bachelor just because your new boyfriend thinks it and everyone who watches it is stupid.  If the other person does not get the tingles when they think about you, nothing you do, wear, or say will change that. 

 

3.       The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay.  Think about your longtime friends.  They know you and still like you!  They have stayed in your life because there is genuine emotion and comfort in the relationship.  Think about your relationships that have failed.  Chances are high that the failure can be attributed to “growing apart” and not being able or comfortable to be yourself.