Things I know

When I was on my last date, I started it with my hair down.  I had recently gotten it cut and colored and had even curled it for the date.  When our drinks arrived, I put it up in a ponytail.  I hate seeing girls hair fall into their food or drinks when they leave it down.  Gross.  Once my hair was up my date said, “oh, I like what you just did.”

This is not the first time I have been alerted that men prefer my hair in a ponytail.  It got me thinking about what else I know for sure about men’s preferences and hopes for women to wear, do, and have. 

Here is a list:

1.     Ponytails
2.     Boots
3.     Sundresses
4.     Southern accents
5.     Wearing baseball caps
6.     Tan lines
7.     Soft hands
8.     Boy-shorts
9.     Skirt business suits
10.   Yoga pants
11.   Gum in our purses

Obviously there are sexual things I could put on the list, but I think those are pretty universal, and I do not want this to be a crass list. 

One man I surveyed said “Headbands, like the workout ones” but I did not get any other men to corroborate that preference, so I left it off the list. 

Inbox Gem

When I feel like checking my messages for my online dating profile, I always have an eye out for cut and pasted email blasts.  Online dating is a numbers game, and  most of the guys have their strategy down.  A totally original message is rare.  The message below is a fine example of an email blast. 

This man at least puts in the effort to write three quick sentences at the beginning that seem to be directed to me and my profile.  The rest of the email….. take a look.

There appears, however, to be catch as the OKCupid overlords have determined that we are 3% Enemy. This super concerns me. I suspect that the OKCupid mainframes have meticulously decoded our personalities & incompatibilities and determined that we are reasonably compatible in every way except something like our opinion on "chaise lounge chairs" -- I love'em, you hate'em, and a figurative blood bath may ensue upon a discussion thereof (e.g., Me: The chair is just so comfy /You: No, it's terrible, I can't get my legs to the ground -I'm trapped! / Me: Deal wit it! / You: No, you deal wit it and your face! / Me: That's something your mother would say.....).

It just occurred to me that I haven't said anything about myself besides what you've already picked up (e.g., this guy rambles a bit – especially, when he thinks he is being funny) so here's three fun/weird/stupid facts about myself: (1) I'm an Eagle scout, (2) I held all three of sister's triplets at the same time without dropping a single one (amazing, right?) when visiting for their baptism this last weekend, & (3) I once air-humped a big buck hunter machine and bruised my pelvis (a moment to be proud of).

So, what do you think about chaise lounge chairs? And, on a scale of 0 to 10, how terrible of a move was it to mention the bruised-pelvis-from-big-buck-hunter-

 

Well, sir.  I think the mistake came when you started thinking you were funny.  I hope the other thirteen girls you sent this to last night have the right opinion on chaise lounge chairs.    

The last good year?

Having recently turned 29, I spent some time talking to my therapist about benchmarks and where I thought I should be at this age.  I am very comfortable with my life as it is and I like it.  I am in no big hurry to change it, but I would like to buy a home soon.  Finding a boyfriend would be nice (obviously I am looking for one) but the search does not define me nor does it depress me.  Well…some dates leave me concerned about the quality left out there, but I have read enough romance novels to believe that he is out there somewhere. 

I hear more from friends and Hollywood actresses that they love their thirties and feel more comfortable in their own skin.  The teenage years are hard enough, but it seems that the feelings that arrive with them stick around through the twenties as well. 

On my birthday, everyone told me this was going to be the best year ever.  No one said it was going to be the last good year of my life, or that it is all downhill when you turn 30. 

But… I found this article on my newsfeed. 

We also asked when a woman is most beautiful: Men believe female beauty peaks at 29, while women give themselves a few more years, answering, on average, 31."

Sounds like I have less good years left in me than I thought. 

Paying for Dates

As I mention in many of my date posts, I pay for the first date.  Why is this?  Mainly it is because I am quick with my credit card and none of my dates has protested overmuch. 

When I got ready to pay on my last date, he asked me if paying made me more comfortable.  I admitted it did, but what I left out is that paying allows me to feel more comfortable with never contacting the man again.  Paying for a date is a power play.  It also signifies that I can actually pay for my own dinner/drinks/movie/bowling/brunch/triptothezoo.  That way it is clear that if he has his ish together I am not in it for the money, and if he does not have his ish together and has saved up for our date all week, he can blow the money at the bar on Friday and drown his sorrows when I do not call him back. 

Whoever pays for the first date has the control.  The other person is immediately in a bit of a debt to the pay-er 

So.  Gentlemen.  Pay for the date. Do not protest, just get the server’s attention and make sure the tab goes on your credit card.  If you get there first, give your card to the server so the bill comes right to you and there is no question that you are taking care of it.

I have gone out on second dates when the man paid for the first.  I have not gone out on second dates when I paid for the first. 

Wing Girls

I was out with some girlfriends last weekend for our monthly night out.  They are all beautiful….and taken.  Typically we go to dive/hipster bars for the people watching.  The point isn’t to pick men up, no matter how many of us are single.  This week was different.  My girlfriends found me a man at the bar. 

It started the way flirtations do in elementary school.  He was across the bar wearing a  pale yellow v-neck t-shirt that was clearly out of place at this bar.  His blond hair and dimples made him an easy target for assessment.  Apparently from twenty feet away and over the bar karaoke and, he heard us talking about him.   He put on a hoodie, zipped it up to his chin and came over to defend his fashion choices. 

He was charming, witty, funny, and attractive.  When his wing-girl came over to make sure things were going well, she polled my friends and I. 

“who think’s he’s cute” ß we all raised our hands.

“who’s single” ß only I raised my hand.

Ding ding ding! 

We hung out until bar close and our date was scheduled for Monday. 

The good thing is that my friends have already given him the thumbs up.  And if they could, they would tie me up and stuff me in a trunk to go on the date in my place J 

Beauty Advice

Does color matter in dating?  Apparently so according to this helpful article I found on MSN relationships: http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-heart-beat-blog-post?post=83024bf4-6aee-4d84-bf07-ca6979ad0821

I have a hair color that is difficult to classify.  My stylist, Peter, waffles between calling my natural color “mousy” and “beautiful”  either way, I usually get two or three colors added to jazz it up, no matter how he is feeling on that particular day.

Maybe I should go even darker so I can appear to be a better cook and housekeeper.  And of course, better in bed.